Wheaton divorce lawyersWhen parents go through a divorce, they often wonder what will help their children cope during the process. Some try to take the focus off the divorce, sometimes to the point that they are unintentionally minimizing its impact on the child. Others try to cater to their child’s wants and needs, sometimes to the point that the child does not ever truly feel the complex emotions that children of divorce often experience. Sadly, this can ultimately stunt the child’s emotional and psychological growth. Learn what you can do to help your child deal with the divorce process in a healthy way, and discover how a seasoned attorney can assist you with the process.

Your Actions and Behavior in Divorce – Why It Matters

Parents sometimes mistakenly tell their children that the divorce “is between the adults” and “has nothing to do with them” when, in fact, nothing could be further from the truth. Yes, while the divorce proceedings are truly about the parents and their decision to end the relationship, it is important that parents avoid behaving or acting in ways that inadvertently minimize the impact that the parents’ decision has on the child. Their entire life is changing.

At the very least, a child may be shuffled from one parent’s house to the other during and after the divorce. In more complicated cases, children can endure months of contention and uncertainty regarding who they will live with once the divorce is over, how often they will see each parent, and where they will go to school. In short, divorce often has a dramatic impact on the lives of children, and they rarely have any say over the proceedings or ultimate outcome. This is why your behavior and actions in a divorce matter to your child – and not just in their present situation, but in their future as well.

What Your Child Really Needs During a Divorce

At the end of the day, what your child really needs from you and your spouse during a divorce is for the both of you to act like adults. Avoid arguments, do not fish for details when your child returns from your spouse’s house, allow your child to process their emotions (while still expecting them to treat you with respect), and know the signs of a seriously troubled child, such as withdrawal from school, friends, or extracurricular activities and a sudden decline in hygiene. Above all, ensure you have experienced legal assistance while navigating the process, as this can minimize the negative contact between arguing parents but still allows them to communicate about their child as they work through the details of their divorce.

Contact Our DuPage County Divorce Attorneys

When the outcome of your divorce matters and the mental and emotional well-being of your child is on the line, it is important to select a family law attorney with both knowledge and compassion. Backed by more than 40 years of family law experience, Stock, Carlson, Oldfield & McGrath, LLC are the ones to trust. Schedule your consultation with our Wheaton divorce lawyers by calling 630-665-2500 today.



Posted in Child Custody | Tagged , , , , |

Illinois divorce lawyersCouples who have raised children often look forward to their retirement years because they consider it well-earned time together. However, many baby boomers are finding they are no longer compatible with their mate, or that they no longer want to spend all that uninterrupted time with one another. In fact, divorce rates for those over the age of 50 have more than doubled in the last decade. Unfortunately, that increase in divorce is creating some serious financial issues for this demographic group – sometimes to the point that it completely derails their plans for retirement. Learn how a seasoned Illinois divorce lawyer may be able to help you protect your assets and increase the chances of a healthy financial future during your gray divorce.

Divorce, Retirement, and Your Pension Plan

When parties plan for retirement, they are generally only accounting for one set of expenses. Divorce can double the expenses, and it requires that the parties split whatever assets they have. In short, there is less money to go around, and more expenses to cover. For some, this may mean downsizing or living a less luxurious life during their retirement years. Others may have to give up plans that they had made (i.e. traveling). Still, there are some who may be at a significant risk for divorce-induced poverty. Whatever your circumstance, rest assured that there are strategies that one may use in divorce to help protect their assets and financial future.

Tips for Protecting Your Retirement in a Gray Divorce

In most divorces, retirement pensions are divided equitably between the parties, meaning they are divided according to what the law considers “fair.” Various factors, such as the duration of the marriage, total value of the marital estate, and the contributions made by each party are used in the determination. As such, it is critical that parties have an accurate valuation of their estate. It is also important to ensure that all contributions – monetary and non-monetary – are accounted for when developing your divorce strategy.

Even still, parties should understand that the loss of pension funds can have a significant impact on their financial future, especially when it occurs when one is already retired or nearing their retirement. Parties can minimize this impact by utilizing a few key strategies, such as:

  • Downsizing their life (i.e. selling the family home);
  • Discussing one’s financial situation with an attorney to determine which marital assets may offer the greatest long-term benefit;
  • Delaying retirement so that there is more time to save;
  • Taking up a side job to save for retirement;
  • Rolling over retirement pensions instead of taking a cash payout;
  • Ensuring pension accounts are divided according to the plan’s rules;
  • Requesting alimony if you are a disadvantaged spouse; and
  • Offering another asset in lieu of alimony if you expect to pay spousal maintenance.

Contact Our Wheaton Divorce Lawyers

At Stock, Carlson, Oldfield & McGrath, LLC, we work hard to protect the financial futures of our clients. Seasoned and experienced, our DuPage County divorce attorneys always pursue the most favorable outcome possible, regardless of the circumstance. To get started on your case and schedule a personalized consultation, call our offices at 630-665-2500 today.





Posted in Divorce | Tagged , , , , |

Wheaton divorce lawyersFew couples enter a divorce, planning to fight and argue. Yet, when they start to discuss touchy issues like money, assets, and children, tempers can quickly flare. Thankfully, there are some tips that you can use to avoid a messy divorce – and none rely on the actions of your spouse, meaning you can still attempt for a relatively amicable divorce, even if your ex becomes vengeful.

Focus on the Best Interests of Your Children

Parents who remain mindful of their child’s needs often fare better, even if their spouse starts to act out. That is because they understand that children usually cope better with divorce when they are able to have a healthy, continued relationship with both parents. They are less focused on “winning,” and more concerned about what their child needs and wants most.

Sometimes that can mean coming to terms with a difficult truth (i.e. their child would do best if they stayed with their other parent during the week because it would allow them to stay in the same school). Other times, it is simply recognizing that their spouse is a wonderful, loving parent, despite their short-comings as a partner. In short, the parent recognizes that their child is not a bargaining chip, but an innocent party in a difficult and painful separation – and that can change everything from how they negotiate to the way they talk to their spouse while doing parenting time exchanges. You can even do this if your spouse is attempts to make things difficult by minimizing your contact with them as much as possible.

Minimizing Contact with Your Spouse (With or Without Kids)

Couples who struggle to get along often benefit from minimizing their contact – and this can be done, even if you do not have children together. Rather than try to work out the details of your case on your own, have your attorney handle the negotiations. Have your divorce papers served by an unbiased party (law enforcement, etc.) instead of doing it yourself. Lastly, minimize all discussions that must take place (i.e. conversations regarding the children) to emails or text messages – and always read them over carefully – to avoid heated discussions.

Contact Our DuPage County Divorce Lawyers

At Stock, Carlson, Oldfield & McGrath, LLC, we work hard to help our clients navigate the divorce process with less contention because we understand the pain that it can cause for the involved parties. Dedicated and experienced, our seasoned DuPage County divorce lawyers can protect your best interests, and the best interests of your children. Start by scheduling a personalized consultation. Call 630-665-2500 today.




Posted in Divorce | Tagged , , , , |